AGING ICON

LIVE HOW YOU WANT TO LIVE

Meet Jean

I first met Jean soon after she’d been moved to assisted living, which is how I meet many of my clients. She’d had what I call a “mystery fall” at the supermarket near her apartment in Queens. One moment she was shopping, the next she was staring up into a bright light with an EMT asking if she was okay. She had no memory of what happened.

In the hospital, all the usual tests were done. Nothing alarming showed up, no stroke, no major medical event. Jean was in her mid-90s (“nine-five,” as she liked to say), walked miles regularly, lived alone, and was mentally sharp. Still, because no one could explain the fall, she was sent to rehab rather than home. From there, as often happens, the path led straight to assisted living.

By the time I met her, Jean was in a one-bedroom apartment in an assisted living facility with almost nothing in it. No TV, phone, radio, or books. Just a bed, a nightstand, a small bureau, and a lamp. This was during the early days of the pandemic, and she was quarantined to her room until she received her second vaccine dose. She had two outfits, the clothes she’d fallen in and one donated set from the facility. No family nearby, no visitors, and no stimulation.

The facility called me because Jean needed someone to assist with all the things they don’t do such as shopping, arranging, and transporting to medical appointments, dealing with her second vaccine, sorting out her finances, and getting personal items from her apartment. She had assumed, as many elders do, that the facility would “take over” and manage her money, bills, and practical needs. That is almost never the case. Assisted living provides room, board, very basic personal services and expects family to do the rest. Jean had no one.

I took her to get that second vaccine dose, neither of us realizing she’d gotten very sick after the first one, a detail she only remembered later. That omission led to a serious reaction and another hospital stay. It’s one of the reasons I insist advocates handle discharges and transitions because we make sure vital pieces of medical history travel with the person.

When we went to her Queens apartment for the first time in three months, it was neat and tidy but buried under piles of unpaid bills and past-due notices. No one knew she’d been gone and no one had stepped in. Together, we chose some clothes, a few pieces of furniture, and then I sat down with her to look at her finances. What I saw is tragically common: she had enough money to live in that private assisted living facility for less than a year, and that’s without paying movers or closing out her apartment. No one at the facility had checked whether her funds were sustainable. They were happy to sign a lease and hand her a key.

I became her Power of Attorney so I could help her navigate all of this while she kept full control over her decisions. She was sharp, opinionated, and very capable. We arranged a prepaid funeral so she could choose her final wishes. We applied for community Medicaid and prepared a move to a state-funded facility that offered small studio rooms rather than the crowded, substandard conditions I’ve seen elsewhere.

The Medicaid facility was “better than most,” but still a dramatic shift for a woman who used to walk to the supermarket whenever she pleased and eat what she wanted. Now her life was regulated: assigned meal times, assigned tables, limited food choices, and no ability to keep a fridge in her room. She couldn’t get something as simple as a ham sandwich because the facility was kosher. She was lonely, surrounded by residents with dementia, and grieving the independence she’d lost along with her friends and old routines.

Jean missed simple, familiar things like a properly mixed glass of Citrucel three times a day, a ham and cheese sandwich, cherry pie, a particular kind of toothpaste (“Arm and Hammer wash,” as she called it). I spent an absurd amount of time advocating over how thick her Citrucel should be mixed and whether she could keep it in her room. It took multiple conversations with administrators and nursing staff before we finally got permission for her to store and mix it herself.

These details might sound small, but they’re not. When someone has had almost all of their freedom taken away like where they live, when they eat, what they can eat, where they can go, being able to control a glass of Citrucel or a tube of toothpaste becomes emotionally enormous. I saw over and over how these tiny wins restored some dignity.

As my travel schedule got busier, I brought in my colleague Jackee, a board-certified patient advocate. She and Jean clicked right away. Jackee helped unpack Jean’s things, played Christmas music on a found CD player, listened to stories about church and old friends, walked her to meals, and guided her into social activities when she felt she didn’t “belong.” Over time, Jackee became the person who brought her ham sandwiches, sweets, new slippers, nail polish, and companionship.

Together, Jackee and I dealt with a maze of insurance problems like railroad pension rules that complicated her coverage, supplemental plans that didn’t include drug benefits, and medical bills that would ultimately be written off. We protected Jean from financial chaos as best we could, while making sure she still had some joy such as outings to the diner, haircuts, clothes bought online on the “little phone,” a small cactus for her windowsill, and a steady supply of journals and pens for her daily writing.

Today, Jean is 97. She still writes in her journal every day, keeps a meticulous “Jackee list” of things she wants to discuss, and remains mentally sharp. She is, undeniably, living with far fewer choices than she once had, but she is not invisible. She has advocates who see her, fight for her, and help her preserve as much autonomy and dignity as possible.

What I want you to take from Jean’s story

If you have an older loved one, or you’re planning for your own future, Jean’s journey offers important lessons:

  • Don’t assume the facility will “handle everything.”
    Assisted living typically covers room, board, basic housekeeping, laundry, and sometimes a clinic visit. Bills, banking, shopping, medical coordination, and personal items are not automatically managed.
  • Know the true costs and how long the money will last.
    Before signing a lease, sit down and calculate: monthly cost, existing assets, and how many months or years are truly affordable, including moving costs, closing an apartment, and small extras that matter to quality of life.
  • Get legal and financial documents in place early.
    Power of Attorney, healthcare proxy, and a prepaid funeral plan can prevent crises later and ensure the older adult’s wishes are followed while they still have a voice.
  • Be present at hospital discharges and transitions.
    Make sure medical records, vaccine reactions, and key history are clearly documented and transferred. Advocates catch details that get missed.
  • Ask very specific questions about food and daily routines.
    Meal times, flexibility, ability to keep snacks or a small fridge, religious dietary rules—all of this profoundly affects day-to-day happiness.
  • Respect the “small” preferences.
    Whether it’s Citrucel thickness, a favorite candy, or a ham sandwich, these things can be lifelines. They’re about identity and control, not just taste.
  • Consider an independent advocate.
    Someone who understands the system and does not work for the facility can make all the difference in how an elder is treated, heard, and cared for.

Above all remember that advanced age does not erase a person’s ability to think, feel, and decide. People like Jean have lived full, independent lives for decades. Our job is not to turn them into obedient patients, it’s to protect their safety while fiercely preserving their dignity and voice.

December 10, 2025 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

When Compassion Meets Advocacy: Pete’s Story

Many people start thinking about getting their affairs in order by calling an attorney. It makes sense because Elder Law and Estate Planning Attorneys know the legal documents that protect your assets and your wishes.

But lawyers can’t (and shouldn’t) do it all. They draft the paperwork, but they don’t walk through your life with you. That’s where a Patient Advocate comes in because they connect the dots between life, health, and planning.

Pete’s Call for Help

Pete’s story began with a cry for help. He called Elder Law Attorney Iris Bikel after realizing that the neighbors who had been “helping” him were actually taking advantage of him. They had convinced him to sell his condo and were pushing to gain Power of Attorney over his finances. Fortunately, Pete’s distant cousin referred him to Iris, who immediately brought me in as his Patient Advocate.

When I first met Pete, he was frail, hungry, and utterly defeated. A retired Avon executive who once designed the company’s training manuals, Pete had lived a full, rich life. But after his career ended and his sister passed away, he became isolated and easy prey for those with selfish intentions.

A Turning Point

My first priority was Pete’s health. I took him to the hospital, where doctors discovered he was dehydrated and depressed. When asked if he had ever thought of harming himself, Pete quietly admitted, “Yes, I look out the window and think I should jump.”

That honest moment changed everything.

With the support of his medical team and my advocacy, Pete agreed to inpatient care. Over the next two months, his spirit began to revive. He made friends, rediscovered his confidence, and began to see that life still held meaning. Together, we explored living options and found an Independent Living community that fit his needs, one that offered support without taking away his independence.

Rediscovering Purpose

Pete thrived in his new environment. He joined the residents’ council, took up Tai Chi, and even learned Tai Kwon Do in his eighties! He rediscovered joy, purpose, and community. He began to share stories of his world travels, his deep love of art and music, and even long-hidden truths about himself that he had carried for a lifetime. It was as if he had finally exhaled after holding his breath for years.

Life’s Full Circle

As time went on, Pete’s health declined and his finances grew tight. We worked together to transition him to a Medicaid-supported facility that still respected his dignity and individuality. Even as his world became smaller, he filled it with beauty carefully decorating his new space with art and personal treasures.

When his vascular condition worsened, he made the brave choice to forgo extreme medical interventions. I remained his advocate and his friend until the end, and when my colleague Jackee Namwila stepped in during my absence, she provided the same level of compassion and care. Pete’s final days were spent with dignity, comfort, and peace.

Lessons from Pete

Pete’s story is a powerful reminder of why Patient Advocacy matters, and what can happen when someone has a steady, compassionate guide through the maze of aging and healthcare.

Here are a few takeaways from Pete’s journey:

  1. Legal planning needs life planning. Attorneys handle the documents, but a Patient Advocate helps you gather the information, make the decisions, and stay engaged in the process.
  2. Isolation can be dangerous. Even smart, capable people can become vulnerable when they’re alone. Community and oversight can literally save lives.
  3. Independence doesn’t end with age. With the right support, older adults can maintain autonomy and joy well into their later years.
  4. Advocacy is about relationships. A good advocate never disappears when the checkbook runs out and they remain a source of strength and friendship.
  5. A life well-lived deserves dignity until the end. Pete’s story shows that even in the face of decline, choice and respect make all the difference.

Pete’s journey is one I will never forget. It’s why I do what I do, helping people navigate the complex and deeply personal path of aging with grace, empowerment, and humanity.

(From Aging Icon – How You Want to Live: When They Say Nothing Can be Done, That Just Means They Don’t Know What to Do. http://bit.ly/47OKWel

    

October 20, 2025 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I Don’t Want That to Happen to Me: What Beverly Teaches Us About Aging With Agency

When Beverly first approached me after a community talk, her request seemed small, merely a ride to the eye doctor. But behind that simple ask was the real message of this chapter, most of us won’t need everything as we age, but we’ll all need something, and the difference between dignity and distress is planning, advocacy, and a trusted circle.

My framework (3 pillars) is simple.

Finances → Health → Legal:

Know what you have and where it is. Understand your health realities and likely scenarios. Then memorialize your wishes with the right legal instruments (powers of attorney, health-care proxy, living will). Get these pillars in place before a crisis; in a crisis, the hospital’s priority is discharge, not your best long-term fit.

Assisted living ≠ “everything handled”:

Assisted living is a level of support, not a total solution. It typically covers housing, meals, and some personal care, but it assumes family, or a designated advocate will still arrange specialists, transportation, and errands. Even residents who appear independent often qualified because they need socialization, help with meals, or light assistance with daily tasks. Expecting “the facility will do it all” leads to gaps and planning for the gaps preserves quality of life.

Everyone needs an advocate:

Beverly’s journey underscores the power of a steady advocate, someone who shows up at appointments, asks the right questions, coordinates professionals, and protects against pressure decisions. Advocacy is not about taking over, it’s about making sure your voice is heard when systems default to what’s easiest, not what’s best.

Guarding against financial harm:

Well-meaning referrals can go wrong, and charming helpers can be opportunists. The guardrails are clear:

  • Demand statements and paper trails for every financial action.
  • Separate roles: your advocate accompanies and questions; licensed professionals advise; attorneys paper the plan.
  • When something feels off, pause, and verify. Small hesitations prevent big losses.

Designate decision-makers you truly trust:

Paperwork without the right people fails in real life. Choose proxies who will act as you would, not as they would. Revisit designations after life events (death of a spouse, estrangement, moves). Update beneficiaries and powers of attorney so your plan matches your present.

Purpose, not just care:

Beverly’s best days were fueled by purpose such as conversation, art, politics, music, pets, and the small rituals that make a life feel like yours. Aging well isn’t only about safety, it’s about staying socially alive. Build a weekly cadence, visits, classes, faith, volunteering, creative work, that keeps you engaged. Purpose stabilizes mood, strengthens health, and wards off isolation.

“Independent” with smart support:

Needing targeted help (a ride, paperwork, a specialist visit) doesn’t erase independence. The right supports extend independence. Think in tasks, not labels. What can I do solo? What drains me? What requires expertise? Outsource the friction so you can keep doing the things that matter.

Comfort and dignity at the end:

Clarity about end-of-life wishes protects dignity. When advocates know the living will and physicians are aligned, care shifts from default interventions to comfort, presence, and small mercies. A clean face, ice chips, and favorite music can mean everything.

Legacy is every day, not just estate plans:

Legacy lives in stories, relationships, and how you treat people. Beverly’s generosity, her love of conversation, her creativity, and even her beloved pet were part of the life she chose to leave behind. Catalog your stories and label photos. Write a page a week. Decide who and what you want to support. Make it simple for others to honor your wishes.

Takeaways to act on now:

  1. Map your Finances–Health–Legal triangle and fill the gaps.
  2. Name and brief your advocate(s); give them access to documents.
  3. Right-size your care plan and assume facilities don’t cover everything.
  4. Install fraud guardrails: documentation, second opinions, slow down big moves.
  5. Schedule purpose: weekly social, creative, and spiritual anchors.
  6. Refresh your proxies and beneficiaries after any major life change.

Beverly’s message is clear. Plan early, choose your circle, and keep choosing what makes your life feel like you.

September 26, 2025 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Herman’s Story: Why Seniors Need Advocates

When I first began volunteering in Florida as a SHINE Representative and helping older adults understand Medicare and health insurance, I met countless people navigating the maze of aging alone. One story in particular still stays with me: Herman’s.

A Sister’s Worry

Herman’s sister, Trudy, came regularly to my Medicare classes. Active and engaged, she was deeply concerned about her brother, who had stopped leaving his apartment. He wasn’t sick in the traditional sense, but he had given up on daily life.

When I finally met Herman, it became clear that what he lacked wasn’t the ability to get up, it was the motivation. His words were simple: “If I had someplace to go, I would get up.”

A System That Missed the Signs

Soon after, Herman ended up in the hospital following a fall. What should have been a chance to recover turned into a nightmare. Nurses misinterpreted his dry humor as confusion, missed the fact that he had a broken leg, and restrained him unnecessarily.

This is where advocacy becomes essential. Without someone to explain his personality, history, and “baseline,” Herman was seen as another disoriented patient rather than the vibrant man he truly was.

Seeing the Whole Person

As I learned more about Herman, I discovered a full life. He was a German immigrant who served in the U.S. Army, rose to leadership in his union, and lived with energy and joy. Knowing this helped me push for care that matched who he really was, not just what was convenient for the system.

It also reminded me how easily older adults can be taken advantage of, whether through medical neglect or even predatory sales practices, like the cousin who unknowingly signed up for multiple phone contracts. Advocacy is often about fighting battles on multiple fronts.

Finding Dignity at the End

Ultimately, Herman could not return to his apartment. But because of his military service, he qualified for a nearby Veterans’ nursing home. It was the right place,  compassionate, social, and respectful. There, he built friendships and received extraordinary hospice care when his health declined. He passed peacefully, honored for his service, and surrounded by dignity.

The Lessons Herman Leaves Behind

Herman’s story is not just about one man. It reveals what so many older adults face:

  • Purpose matters. Often, seniors don’t lose the will to live—they lose reasons to get out of bed.
  • Systems fail. Without an advocate, oversights and misunderstandings can strip away dignity.
  • The whole person counts. Understanding someone’s history and baseline changes how we interpret their needs.
  • Advocacy protects. From healthcare to financial exploitation, seniors need someone to stand beside them.

Herman’s journey affirmed why Aging Icons exists. Advocacy ensures that people are seen, heard, and respected in every stage of aging. Seniors are more than patients or statistics, they are veterans, immigrants, parents, workers, dreamers.

And like Herman, they deserve to age with dignity, community, and compassion.

September 8, 2025 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Aging Differently and Making Peace with Time

For so many of us, the word aging has been wrapped in fear, loss, and limitation. We brace ourselves for decline instead of anticipating possibility. But what if we could change that? What if aging became something to walk toward with purpose, passion, and even joy?

That’s the very heart of bestselling author and DailyOM top-selling course creator Cynthia Kane’s program, Make Aging Your Friend Instead of Your Enemy (https://www.dailyom.com/courses/aging-differently-feel-lighter-freer-and-more-confident/

In this course, Cynthia guides people to radically reshape how they feel, think, and talk about aging. The goal is to release fear, dismantle negative judgment, and discover a lighter, freer, healthier relationship with ourself as we grow older.

It’s a roadmap to aging not with dread, but with harmony, gratitude, and a sense of vitality that others can see and feel.

Where Does Aging Icon Come In

I love how Cynthia lays the foundation for resetting our relationship with aging. At Aging Icon, my work builds on that foundation. I partner with individuals, my “aging icons,” to help them step into this new perspective and live it out day by day.

Accommodations sometimes need to be made. Bodies change, energy fluctuates, and circumstances shift. (That happens throughout our entire life!) But none of that means you stop moving forward. Quite the opposite.

My role is to help people age differently:

  • With purpose, by clarifying what truly matters now and how to live it fully.
  • With passion, by rekindling joy and enthusiasm for daily life.
  • With positivity, by choosing to see opportunities instead of limits.

I’ve seen clients light up when they realize they can still build, create, give, and grow. That refusal to let age define or diminish them is what makes them aging icons.

Aging Is Not the End, It’s a Continuation

Aging is inevitable. But despair, decline, and disengagement don’t have to be. With guides like Cynthia Kane reshaping the way we think about aging, and with Aging Icon offering practical, personal support to live differently, aging becomes less of a battle and more of a beautiful dance.

The goal isn’t to deny time but it’s to make peace with it and keep moving forward joyfully, step by step.

Check out Cynthia Kane’s course https://www.dailyom.com/courses/aging-differently-feel-lighter-freer-and-more-confident/

And if you’re curious about what your own “next chapter” might look like, I’m here to guide you. Reach out and let’s discuss how Aging Icon can help you step into your future with purpose, passion, and positivity and become the icon of your own story.

September 2, 2025 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

From Dental Assistant to Aging Icon. My Journey Into Advocacy.

There’s a saying in healthcare, and that is to get ahead, you must quit and change jobs. In the early years of my career, I did exactly that, and often. At the time, it looked like zigzagging. Looking back I see it as the foundation for everything I’ve done since. Each role gave me a new perspective, a new skill, and a better understanding of who I am. It’s those lessons that shaped me into the advocate that I am today.

Building Blocks: Learning the Business of Healthcare

I began at the bottom, working as a dental assistant. From there I moved to the front desk, then into supervisory roles at a health insurance company. My boss eventually suggested something that changed my life: “Why don’t you become a consultant?” He saw what I hadn’t yet realized, namely I wasn’t going to stay in anyone else’s shadows for long.

I had something rare, a network. Young doctors were eager to start their own practices, patients wanted their insurance to actually work for them, and I had the relationships to connect the dots. At that time, patients paid their doctors directly, then sought reimbursement from their insurer. If you could help people navigate that maze then you were already a step ahead.

And I was lucky again. The laws allowing professional advertising had just changed which meant very few competitors. Without the Internet (this was the 1970’s), I turned to the Business Library and sent flyers to every organization that I could find. Soon I was standing in front of groups like the Public Health Association, speaking about healthcare reform and how physicians could grow their practices.

It wasn’t about broad advertising; it was about relationships. I asked doctors to describe their ideal patient: the ones who accepted treatment plans, paid their bills (with insurance), and referred others. From there, I built systems for everything including branding, staff training, union relationships, and business strategies.

Mentors and Milestones

There weren’t many women business owners in healthcare consulting back then. I was fortunate enough to meet Martha Stevens, a trailblazing consultant who generously shared her wisdom. She taught me how to price my services, present myself professionally, and balance business with professional life. That mentorship was gold.

One of my most memorable clients was Dental World, the flashy one-day dentistry practice located in Roosevelt Field Mall in Long Island. They had everything from an in-house lab to babysitting and even a movie theater. I agreed to work with them on commission, a risk that paid off. Soon I became known as Miss Dental World, gaining media exposure and invaluable experience when the company went public and even launched franchises.

But business highs are often followed by lows. A shady investor swooped in, installed his girlfriend in my role, and pushed me out. I negotiated my exit, kept my trade secrets, and watched from the sidelines as the business collapsed. That painful chapter taught me two lessons, trust your instincts and never put your all of eggs in one basket.

Reinvention and Growth

Thankfully, I still had my contacts. I pivoted, found new sponsors and helped a dentist and his wife (a radiologist), open one of the first chains of radiology centers in the 1980’s. This was groundbreaking at a time when no one thought of doctors as running “big businesses.” The model became a blueprint for hospitals outsourcing services.

Over the next two decades, I immersed myself in every aspect of modern medicine including MRIs, telehealth (before it had a name), physician education, and health reform committees. I wasn’t just building my own business, I was shaping how healthcare itself evolved.

I participated in strikes, reform debates, and even efforts to create physician-owned HMOs. And then came September 11th, 2001. Living in downtown Brooklyn, with an office on Wall Street, and a client in the World Trade Center, I watched the towers fall. That tragedy, combined with my mother’s passing shortly after, shifted my focus. I moved to Florida, continued serving clients remotely, and began to explore senior healthcare.

Discovering My Calling: Advocacy for Seniors

What began with volunteer Medicare counseling grew into something much bigger. People asked me not just about coverage, but about finding doctors, arranging transportation, and navigating daily challenges. One of my first paying clients was the Mayor of North Miami who had suffered a stroke and develop aphasia. I worked out creative ways for him to communicate, even coaching him through public speeches.

Another client was a pioneering dietician with no family. I helped her set up a charity so her life’s work could live on. These experiences showed me what I was meant to do, advocate not for systems or doctors, but for people.

By the time I returned to New York in 2004, I fully embraced the title of Patient Advocate. I explained to professionals that unlike care managers who focus on compliance, I listened to what the patient wanted and worked toward safe, workable solutions.

Leading the Way

Technology continued to reshape healthcare and I saw how patients were being squeezed between insurers and providers. By 2008 I stopped working with doctors entirely and focused solely on supporting patients.

I joined professional organizations, mentored aspiring advocates, and in 2018 helped develop the first national Board Certification exam for Patient Advocates (earning the right to put BCPA after my name).

I also threw myself into leadership roles, from the Senior Umbrella Network to PULSE Center for Patient Safety. When the pandemic hit, I refused to let connection die. We moved SUN meetings to Zoom, creating some of the most meaningful networking experiences members ever had. That adaptability, I think is what has kept me energized all these years.

Becoming an Aging Icon

Through coaching and reflection, I realized that the people I serve, remarkable individuals continuing their life’s mission into their later years, are ICONS. And I am one too: an Aging Icon.

One client, a 97 year old psychologist and playwright, feared her work would vanish when she passed. Together, we published her plays and built her website, ensuring her legacy lives on. Others are business leaders, creators, and innovators who simply need help navigating aging and health.

What unites them is this: they don’t want to stop living, creating, and contributing,. And neither do I.

Lessons Learned

If my journey has taught me anything, it’s this:

  • Stay open to reinvention. Losing a job, a contract, or a business can feel like the end, but it may be the beginning of something greater.
  • Build relationships, not just resumes. Every opportunity I’ve had has come through relationships, not cold calls.
  • Advocacy matters. Systems often fail people. Being the person who listens and finds solutions can change lives.
  • You’re never too old to create impact. My clients and my own story are proof.

I‘ve spent decades fighting for better, more accessible healthcare, and I have no plans to stop. As long as there are Aging Icons out there, I’ll keep helping them shine.

Because when someone says “Nothing else can be done,” my answer will always be, not so fast, let’s find a way.

August 27, 2025 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Social Media is More Than Memes and Selfies

Not so long ago, if you had told me that I’d be excited about a college student joining the Social Media Association for $5 a month, I would have raised an eyebrow.

Not because I’m not excited about students, quite the opposite. But because, for a long time, “social media” was something I thought was for teenagers, influencers, or marketing departments with bigger budgets than mine.

Now? I see it differently.

From “Extra” to Essential

When social media first arrived, my cohort treated it like a shiny toy, fun to play with, maybe useful in business, but certainly not the main event. It sat somewhere in the corner, lumped under “public relations” or “marketing,” often managed by the newest intern.

Fast forward to today, and social media is no longer the appetizer. It’s the main course.
It’s where news breaks before it hits TV, where movements start before they hit the streets, and where brands, personal and professional, either thrive or disappear.

And the best part? You don’t have to be a tech wizard or marketing executive to use it effectively.

My Wake-Up Call

I’ll admit I used to be a skeptic. I didn’t need to post my breakfast or dance on TikTok to prove I was relevant. I had my network, my clients, and my reputation.

But then I realized something, social media isn’t about dancing or oversharing. It’s about:

  • Staying informed in real time
  • Connecting with people you might never meet otherwise
  • Sharing what you know so people see your expertise and trust you
  • Building your personal and business brand

As the Membership Chair of the Social Media Association, I’ve seen firsthand how social media has shifted from “just an option” to “mission critical” for anyone who wants to be seen, heard, and remembered.

The New Networking

Once upon a time, networking meant going to a luncheon, exchanging business cards, and hoping someone remembered you the next day.

Now?

You can make a connection on LinkedIn at 10AM, share an article that makes someone think at 2PM and be speaking to a potential client (or collaborator) by dinner.

Social media isn’t replacing in-person connection, it’s amplifying it. The handshake is still powerful, but now the “digital nod” keeps the conversation going long after the meeting ends.

Gravitas in the Digital Age

Here’s something I’ve learned: if you want people to take you seriously, you have to show up.

And in 2025, showing up means being visible online, not just in a once-a-year website update, but in regular, thoughtful posts that tell the world:

“I know what I’m talking about.”
“I care about this subject.”
“I’m here, and I’m paying attention.”

Social media lets you control your narrative. It allows you to demonstrate your knowledge, values, and experience before anyone even shakes your hand.

Social Media for All Generations

Some people think social media is a young person’s game. They’re wrong.

I’ve met retirees using Instagram to share stories from their careers, nonprofit founders in their 70s raising awareness on Facebook, and yes, college students using LinkedIn to build a professional reputation before graduation.

The most inspiring part? We’re all learning from each other. That’s why I’m so thrilled that students are joining the Social Media Association. They bring fresh ideas, curiosity, and a comfort with the platforms that can inspire the rest of us to try something new.

And in return, we offer perspective, strategy, and the wisdom of having seen trends come and go. Together, we bridge the gap.

Why I’m All In

I’m not a social media professional. I don’t spend my days analyzing algorithms or scheduling content calendars. But I’ve come to appreciate that if you want to be part of the conversation in your field, your community, or the wider world, you have to have a seat at the table.

And in many ways, that table is now digital.

I also want to make one thing clear and that’s I’ve been at this a long time. I started using social media in 2001, back when I was on Delphi Forums launching a national audience for my health reform speaking business.

I know firsthand the power these platforms have to connect people and spread ideas. And while I don’t do it all myself anymore because I have someone posting for me daily and a team creating content, my presence is deliberate and strategic. This isn’t about killing time online, it’s about building relationships, credibility, and visibility that matter.

Whether you’re a student just starting out, a seasoned professional looking to stay relevant, or an Aging Icon that might think social media is “for other people,” I encourage you to explore the possibilities.

Because social media isn’t just a part of PR or marketing anymore. It’s where we learn, share, connect, and yes, make an impact.

And the best part? You can start today from wherever you are.

August 13, 2025 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Art of Aging with Purpose and What You Can Expect from My Work

Some people build businesses around trends. I build them around gaps, spaces where people are craving connection, confidence, and purpose but don’t yet have a map.

That’s how Aging Icon™ was born.

I’ve always believed that success doesn’t end when the candles on your birthday cake hit double digits in the six, seven or even 8 or 9 range. And I’m not talking about forced optimism or “just think young” clichés.

I’m talking about real-life reinvention, about doing the things you love even when your knees creak, your schedule shifts, and the world around you seems to think you’re winding down.

Nope. Not on my watch.

Through my speaking, my books, and my ongoing advocacy, I’ve carved out a space for those who want to live with more curiosity, creativity, and courage, especially as they age or are given a life changing health diagnosis. I work with people who’ve built successful lives and careers, but who are now navigating questions that rarely get asked out loud:

  • Can I still do what I love, even if I don’t move as fast as I used to?
  • Is it too late to start something new?
  • What happens when the world stops seeing me as “in my prime”?

I ask those questions too. And I answer them by helping others write a different kind of script.

What You’ll Find in My Work

Whether it’s from a stage, in the pages of a book, or through grassroots advocacy, here’s what I bring to the table:

Clarity without clichés.
You won’t find platitudes in my presentations or in my writing. What you will find is humor, honesty, and practical insight. I speak from experience, not theory, and my stories are grounded in what it actually feels like to be shifting, stretching, and evolving at every stage of life.

Permission to be powerful.
Many of us have been conditioned to shrink a little as we age. I challenge that gently but firmly. My work is about reclaiming space, confidence, and agency, not because we need permission, but because we deserve reminders.

Community and connection.
Aging can feel isolating. One of the most consistent pieces of feedback I hear is, “I thought I was the only one feeling this way.” My books, talks, and initiatives create safe, energetic spaces for people to realize they are not alone and that shared experience breeds strength.

A future-facing approach.
Here’s where my business brain kicks in. I don’t just talk about aging as it is now. I look at where society, tech, and work are headed, and I position people to thrive in that landscape. The result? You’re not chasing a moment; you’re already in it.

Not Just Inspiration, Activation.

People often tell me they feel inspired after hearing me speak or reading something I’ve written. But I don’t stop at inspiration. I want you to feel energized to take action, whether that means dusting off an old passion, starting a new chapter, or simply refusing to fade quietly into the background.

Because you, my friend, are far from done.

And if you’re ready to live how you want to live, you’ll find in my work not just a mirror, but a guide. A spark and a well-timed nudge.

You’ve built a life worth living. Let’s make sure you keep living it, with joy, meaning, and just the right amount of rebellion.

July 9, 2025 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Holding My Own as A Woman in a Man’s World

For as long as I can remember, I’ve worked alongside men including colleagues, employees, business partners, mentees, and of course, my husband. I’ve never shied away from stepping into spaces where the energy skewed masculine. In fact, I’ve often thrived there.

Maybe it was my deep expertise in my field. Maybe it was an innate sense of confidence. Likely it was a combination of both. But what I know to be true is that I never waited for permission to take up space.

I never let being the “only woman in the room” shake me. I never let anyone else’s assumptions define my value. And I never gave up my independence, personally or professionally, because the moment you do that, you risk disappearing into someone else’s story instead of writing your own.

Even in a happy marriage, independence matters. Especially in a happy marriage. Having a partner doesn’t mean losing your identity. I’ve always believed the healthiest relationships are built when two whole people choose to walk through life side by side, not when one leans so heavily on the other that she forgets how to stand tall on her own.

I’ve had wonderful male mentors and friends throughout my career. I’ve also had other experiences. Like being talked over in meetings. Having my ideas ignored until a man echoed them. And yes, being told to “smile more” except in one ironic twist, I was actually told to smile less by a male attorney I was competing with. Years later, that same attorney came to me for help with his image. Life has a way of circling back, doesn’t it?

I’d be remiss not to acknowledge the sexual undercurrent women often have to manage in professional settings. The subtle (and not-so-subtle) comments. The misinterpreted friendliness. The need to constantly walk the line between being assertive and being “too much.” It’s exhausting, and it’s real. But we manage, with grace, clarity, and an unwavering sense of self.

Here’s what I’ve learned and what I want every woman reading this to know:
We don’t need to harden to survive in a man’s world. We don’t need to mimic masculine traits or minimize our own. What we do need is an unshakeable sense of our own worth. We need clarity about what we bring to the table. And we need the resilience to keep showing up, especially when it’s uncomfortable.

Inner strength isn’t loud or showy. It’s quiet confidence. It’s knowing who you are, what you stand for, and what you’re capable of. It’s also knowing what you won’t tolerate and being willing to draw that line.

That strength? It’s been hard-earned. Built over years, shaped by experience, and inspired by the women I’ve admired who spoke up, stood tall, and never shrank. I’ve learned to listen carefully but speak decisively. To collaborate, but never compromise my vision. To hold my own, without losing my kindness or curiosity.

And I believe deeply that men aren’t the enemy. In fact, many are our allies, our partners in progress, our coworkers in the trenches, our friends, and our family. When we work together with mutual respect, when men listen and learn and women lead without apology, we all benefit. True collaboration looks like inclusion, not dominance. Support, not competition.

Women are still navigating a world that wasn’t designed with us in mind. But we’re redesigning it, every single day.

To the woman reading this and whether you’re just getting started, starting over, or starting fresh later in life, know that you are not alone. We’ve walked this path, and we’re walking it with you.

Stand tall in who you are. Don’t wait for approval. Lead with competence and confidence. And never, ever hand over your independence. It’s your power source.

Respect starts with self-respect. And when you believe in your worth, the world takes notice.

June 16, 2025 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

You’re Not Too Old To Reinvent, Reignite, and Rise Again

Let’s start with the truth: life has its plot twists.

You can be rolling along living your life, perhaps running your business, engaging in hobbies and varied pursuits, checking off goals and then, boom. A diagnosis. An accident. A shift in energy. A feeling you can’t quite name, but something is off.

Suddenly, the way you’ve always done things no longer works.

And you may be tempted to stop, put things on hold, and perhaps even call it quits.

But here’s what I’m here to tell you, loud and clear: you’re not too old to reinvent, reignite, and rise again.

I’ve seen it time and time again, clients who thought they were “past their prime” tapping into creativity, passion, and purpose they hadn’t felt in years.

So no, you don’t have to abandon your vision. You may just need to change your approach.

Reinvention Isn’t About Starting Over, It’s About Shifting

Reinvention doesn’t mean throwing everything out and beginning from scratch. It’s about examining your current situation, honoring what has changed, and asking: how can I do this differently?

Maybe you used to be on the road 200 days a year, speaking and training. Now, travel exhausts you. But your message? Still resonates. Let’s bring it online. Let’s record your talks. Let’s build a digital presence that brings the same impact without the suitcase.

Or perhaps a diagnosis has changed how much energy you have day to day. That doesn’t mean your life passions have to end. It means you need new rhythms, new support systems, and permission to slow down without stepping out.

Reinvention is a pivot, not a pause.

Reignite What Matters

When you hit a roadblock, it’s natural to feel discouraged. But it’s also an opportunity to ask, What do I really want now? Not what you wanted 10 or 20 years ago. Not what you built your identity around. What do you want today?

The answer to that question might surprise you. I’ve worked with CEOs who rediscovered their love for painting. Lawyers who became writers. Entrepreneurs who scaled back their business and grew their impact.

You’re allowed to change. And you’re allowed to get excited about something new. That spark you feel? That’s your intuition nudging you toward your next chapter.

Rise Again In a Way That Feels Right For You

There’s no one-size-fits-all roadmap for rising. But there is one constant: support.

That’s where I come in.

As an Aging Icon, my mission is to work with people just like you, successful, seasoned, and ready to adjust the sails when the winds shift. I provide strategic guidance and we look at what’s working, what’s no longer sustainable, and what possibilities are waiting just around the corner.

And then? We build a plan, path and a new pace that matches your life now while keeping your dreams alive.

Oh No, You’re Not Done Yet

You may not be 35 anymore. Good. That person didn’t have your wisdom, your perspective, your depth.

You’ve already risen once, maybe many times. Reinventing isn’t admitting defeat, it’s choosing evolution. And that is the truest mark of success: the willingness to keep going, even when the path changes.

So, if you’re feeling like something has shifted, or you’re wondering what’s next, if your body or your life circumstances are demanding a different approach, know this:

You’re not too old.
You’re not done.
And your next act might just be your best one yet.

Let’s Talk

If you’re ready to explore your next chapter without abandoning your past success, let’s connect. I work with clients who are navigating change, redefining what’s possible, and refusing to fade into the background.

You’re not too old to rise again.
You just need someone to help you reimagine how.

Reach out to me and let’s begin.

June 2, 2025 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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