AGING ICON

LIVE HOW YOU WANT TO LIVE

I Don’t Want That to Happen to Me: What Beverly Teaches Us About Aging With Agency

When Beverly first approached me after a community talk, her request seemed small, merely a ride to the eye doctor. But behind that simple ask was the real message of this chapter, most of us won’t need everything as we age, but we’ll all need something, and the difference between dignity and distress is planning, advocacy, and a trusted circle.

My framework (3 pillars) is simple.

Finances → Health → Legal:

Know what you have and where it is. Understand your health realities and likely scenarios. Then memorialize your wishes with the right legal instruments (powers of attorney, health-care proxy, living will). Get these pillars in place before a crisis; in a crisis, the hospital’s priority is discharge, not your best long-term fit.

Assisted living ≠ “everything handled”:

Assisted living is a level of support, not a total solution. It typically covers housing, meals, and some personal care, but it assumes family, or a designated advocate will still arrange specialists, transportation, and errands. Even residents who appear independent often qualified because they need socialization, help with meals, or light assistance with daily tasks. Expecting “the facility will do it all” leads to gaps and planning for the gaps preserves quality of life.

Everyone needs an advocate:

Beverly’s journey underscores the power of a steady advocate, someone who shows up at appointments, asks the right questions, coordinates professionals, and protects against pressure decisions. Advocacy is not about taking over, it’s about making sure your voice is heard when systems default to what’s easiest, not what’s best.

Guarding against financial harm:

Well-meaning referrals can go wrong, and charming helpers can be opportunists. The guardrails are clear:

  • Demand statements and paper trails for every financial action.
  • Separate roles: your advocate accompanies and questions; licensed professionals advise; attorneys paper the plan.
  • When something feels off, pause, and verify. Small hesitations prevent big losses.

Designate decision-makers you truly trust:

Paperwork without the right people fails in real life. Choose proxies who will act as you would, not as they would. Revisit designations after life events (death of a spouse, estrangement, moves). Update beneficiaries and powers of attorney so your plan matches your present.

Purpose, not just care:

Beverly’s best days were fueled by purpose such as conversation, art, politics, music, pets, and the small rituals that make a life feel like yours. Aging well isn’t only about safety, it’s about staying socially alive. Build a weekly cadence, visits, classes, faith, volunteering, creative work, that keeps you engaged. Purpose stabilizes mood, strengthens health, and wards off isolation.

“Independent” with smart support:

Needing targeted help (a ride, paperwork, a specialist visit) doesn’t erase independence. The right supports extend independence. Think in tasks, not labels. What can I do solo? What drains me? What requires expertise? Outsource the friction so you can keep doing the things that matter.

Comfort and dignity at the end:

Clarity about end-of-life wishes protects dignity. When advocates know the living will and physicians are aligned, care shifts from default interventions to comfort, presence, and small mercies. A clean face, ice chips, and favorite music can mean everything.

Legacy is every day, not just estate plans:

Legacy lives in stories, relationships, and how you treat people. Beverly’s generosity, her love of conversation, her creativity, and even her beloved pet were part of the life she chose to leave behind. Catalog your stories and label photos. Write a page a week. Decide who and what you want to support. Make it simple for others to honor your wishes.

Takeaways to act on now:

  1. Map your Finances–Health–Legal triangle and fill the gaps.
  2. Name and brief your advocate(s); give them access to documents.
  3. Right-size your care plan and assume facilities don’t cover everything.
  4. Install fraud guardrails: documentation, second opinions, slow down big moves.
  5. Schedule purpose: weekly social, creative, and spiritual anchors.
  6. Refresh your proxies and beneficiaries after any major life change.

Beverly’s message is clear. Plan early, choose your circle, and keep choosing what makes your life feel like you.

September 26, 2025 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

From Dental Assistant to Aging Icon. My Journey Into Advocacy.

There’s a saying in healthcare, and that is to get ahead, you must quit and change jobs. In the early years of my career, I did exactly that, and often. At the time, it looked like zigzagging. Looking back I see it as the foundation for everything I’ve done since. Each role gave me a new perspective, a new skill, and a better understanding of who I am. It’s those lessons that shaped me into the advocate that I am today.

Building Blocks: Learning the Business of Healthcare

I began at the bottom, working as a dental assistant. From there I moved to the front desk, then into supervisory roles at a health insurance company. My boss eventually suggested something that changed my life: “Why don’t you become a consultant?” He saw what I hadn’t yet realized, namely I wasn’t going to stay in anyone else’s shadows for long.

I had something rare, a network. Young doctors were eager to start their own practices, patients wanted their insurance to actually work for them, and I had the relationships to connect the dots. At that time, patients paid their doctors directly, then sought reimbursement from their insurer. If you could help people navigate that maze then you were already a step ahead.

And I was lucky again. The laws allowing professional advertising had just changed which meant very few competitors. Without the Internet (this was the 1970’s), I turned to the Business Library and sent flyers to every organization that I could find. Soon I was standing in front of groups like the Public Health Association, speaking about healthcare reform and how physicians could grow their practices.

It wasn’t about broad advertising; it was about relationships. I asked doctors to describe their ideal patient: the ones who accepted treatment plans, paid their bills (with insurance), and referred others. From there, I built systems for everything including branding, staff training, union relationships, and business strategies.

Mentors and Milestones

There weren’t many women business owners in healthcare consulting back then. I was fortunate enough to meet Martha Stevens, a trailblazing consultant who generously shared her wisdom. She taught me how to price my services, present myself professionally, and balance business with professional life. That mentorship was gold.

One of my most memorable clients was Dental World, the flashy one-day dentistry practice located in Roosevelt Field Mall in Long Island. They had everything from an in-house lab to babysitting and even a movie theater. I agreed to work with them on commission, a risk that paid off. Soon I became known as Miss Dental World, gaining media exposure and invaluable experience when the company went public and even launched franchises.

But business highs are often followed by lows. A shady investor swooped in, installed his girlfriend in my role, and pushed me out. I negotiated my exit, kept my trade secrets, and watched from the sidelines as the business collapsed. That painful chapter taught me two lessons, trust your instincts and never put your all of eggs in one basket.

Reinvention and Growth

Thankfully, I still had my contacts. I pivoted, found new sponsors and helped a dentist and his wife (a radiologist), open one of the first chains of radiology centers in the 1980’s. This was groundbreaking at a time when no one thought of doctors as running “big businesses.” The model became a blueprint for hospitals outsourcing services.

Over the next two decades, I immersed myself in every aspect of modern medicine including MRIs, telehealth (before it had a name), physician education, and health reform committees. I wasn’t just building my own business, I was shaping how healthcare itself evolved.

I participated in strikes, reform debates, and even efforts to create physician-owned HMOs. And then came September 11th, 2001. Living in downtown Brooklyn, with an office on Wall Street, and a client in the World Trade Center, I watched the towers fall. That tragedy, combined with my mother’s passing shortly after, shifted my focus. I moved to Florida, continued serving clients remotely, and began to explore senior healthcare.

Discovering My Calling: Advocacy for Seniors

What began with volunteer Medicare counseling grew into something much bigger. People asked me not just about coverage, but about finding doctors, arranging transportation, and navigating daily challenges. One of my first paying clients was the Mayor of North Miami who had suffered a stroke and develop aphasia. I worked out creative ways for him to communicate, even coaching him through public speeches.

Another client was a pioneering dietician with no family. I helped her set up a charity so her life’s work could live on. These experiences showed me what I was meant to do, advocate not for systems or doctors, but for people.

By the time I returned to New York in 2004, I fully embraced the title of Patient Advocate. I explained to professionals that unlike care managers who focus on compliance, I listened to what the patient wanted and worked toward safe, workable solutions.

Leading the Way

Technology continued to reshape healthcare and I saw how patients were being squeezed between insurers and providers. By 2008 I stopped working with doctors entirely and focused solely on supporting patients.

I joined professional organizations, mentored aspiring advocates, and in 2018 helped develop the first national Board Certification exam for Patient Advocates (earning the right to put BCPA after my name).

I also threw myself into leadership roles, from the Senior Umbrella Network to PULSE Center for Patient Safety. When the pandemic hit, I refused to let connection die. We moved SUN meetings to Zoom, creating some of the most meaningful networking experiences members ever had. That adaptability, I think is what has kept me energized all these years.

Becoming an Aging Icon

Through coaching and reflection, I realized that the people I serve, remarkable individuals continuing their life’s mission into their later years, are ICONS. And I am one too: an Aging Icon.

One client, a 97 year old psychologist and playwright, feared her work would vanish when she passed. Together, we published her plays and built her website, ensuring her legacy lives on. Others are business leaders, creators, and innovators who simply need help navigating aging and health.

What unites them is this: they don’t want to stop living, creating, and contributing,. And neither do I.

Lessons Learned

If my journey has taught me anything, it’s this:

  • Stay open to reinvention. Losing a job, a contract, or a business can feel like the end, but it may be the beginning of something greater.
  • Build relationships, not just resumes. Every opportunity I’ve had has come through relationships, not cold calls.
  • Advocacy matters. Systems often fail people. Being the person who listens and finds solutions can change lives.
  • You’re never too old to create impact. My clients and my own story are proof.

I‘ve spent decades fighting for better, more accessible healthcare, and I have no plans to stop. As long as there are Aging Icons out there, I’ll keep helping them shine.

Because when someone says “Nothing else can be done,” my answer will always be, not so fast, let’s find a way.

August 27, 2025 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Why I’m Taking Time Off and Why You Should Too

When was the last time you stepped away, not just from your work, but from the noise, the scroll, the meetings, and the million things tugging at your sleeve?

For me, it’s right now. I’m packing my bags for a four-night getaway to Atlantic City, and this time, I’m not sneaking in a single webinar or phone call.

No “just checking in” emails. No multitasking from a hotel desk. Just me, the ocean air, a couple of classic boardwalk strolls, and a head ready to be filled not with noise, but with clarity.

Because here’s what I’ve learned as a successful woman who’s been through a few reinventions (and helped others through theirs): Real growth requires real space.

I’m not talking about a quick lunch break or a Sunday where you half-work while pretending you’re resting. I mean full-on, intentional time off to reflect, reimagine, and reconnect with what matters most.

This is where imagination gets to play again. Where ideas stretch out and breathe. And for me, it’s where I’m going to shape my next-level vision, complete with a fresh elevator pitch and a one-page business plan I can feel in my bones.

Time Away is a Power Move

I know the hustle mindset. I know what it feels like to say, “I’ll rest when I’m done.” But done never comes. There’s always another client, another deadline, another problem to solve. But clarity? That only comes when you pause.

For those of us navigating the later chapters of our careers or choosing to rewrite the story entirely, it’s not about doing more. It’s about doing what matters. And sometimes, the only way to hear that whisper of what matters is to step away from the shouting.

Creativity Needs Breathing Room

You want fresh ideas? Stop standing in stale air.

When we give ourselves space, magic happens. We remember why we started. We reconnect with our own boldness. And we imagine without borders. I’ve done these enough times to know that when I unplug, I come back reignited and unstoppable. I’m not looking to maintain, I’m here to elevate. And sometimes, that requires a beach, a notebook, and a brain that’s not buzzing with to-dos.

Resetting with Purpose

I’ve committed to clearing my plate before I go. No mental baggage allowed on this trip. That’s part of the ritual too, closing the loops so you can open new ones.

When I return, I want to walk through my door with a crisp, confident introduction that reflects who I am now and not who I was three years ago. I want a one-page business plan that lights me up and leads the way forward. Not just words on paper, but a direction that makes me sit up straighter and walk a little taller.

Aging Isn’t Slowing Down. It’s Leveling Up.

As an Aging Icon, I know what it means to rise again and again. Reinvention isn’t a trend. It’s a strategy. And reflection is the most overlooked tool in the box.

Here’s my advice: take the break. Book the hotel. Leave the laptop closed. Let your imagination ride shotgun. Because when you return, you’ll bring back something bigger than rest. You’ll bring back vision.

And vision is what iconic women are made of.

See you on the other side, refreshed, recalibrated, and ready to roar.

May 14, 2025 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment