AGING ICON

LIVE HOW YOU WANT TO LIVE

I Don’t Want That to Happen to Me: What Beverly Teaches Us About Aging With Agency

When Beverly first approached me after a community talk, her request seemed small, merely a ride to the eye doctor. But behind that simple ask was the real message of this chapter, most of us won’t need everything as we age, but we’ll all need something, and the difference between dignity and distress is planning, advocacy, and a trusted circle.

My framework (3 pillars) is simple.

Finances → Health → Legal:

Know what you have and where it is. Understand your health realities and likely scenarios. Then memorialize your wishes with the right legal instruments (powers of attorney, health-care proxy, living will). Get these pillars in place before a crisis; in a crisis, the hospital’s priority is discharge, not your best long-term fit.

Assisted living ≠ “everything handled”:

Assisted living is a level of support, not a total solution. It typically covers housing, meals, and some personal care, but it assumes family, or a designated advocate will still arrange specialists, transportation, and errands. Even residents who appear independent often qualified because they need socialization, help with meals, or light assistance with daily tasks. Expecting “the facility will do it all” leads to gaps and planning for the gaps preserves quality of life.

Everyone needs an advocate:

Beverly’s journey underscores the power of a steady advocate, someone who shows up at appointments, asks the right questions, coordinates professionals, and protects against pressure decisions. Advocacy is not about taking over, it’s about making sure your voice is heard when systems default to what’s easiest, not what’s best.

Guarding against financial harm:

Well-meaning referrals can go wrong, and charming helpers can be opportunists. The guardrails are clear:

  • Demand statements and paper trails for every financial action.
  • Separate roles: your advocate accompanies and questions; licensed professionals advise; attorneys paper the plan.
  • When something feels off, pause, and verify. Small hesitations prevent big losses.

Designate decision-makers you truly trust:

Paperwork without the right people fails in real life. Choose proxies who will act as you would, not as they would. Revisit designations after life events (death of a spouse, estrangement, moves). Update beneficiaries and powers of attorney so your plan matches your present.

Purpose, not just care:

Beverly’s best days were fueled by purpose such as conversation, art, politics, music, pets, and the small rituals that make a life feel like yours. Aging well isn’t only about safety, it’s about staying socially alive. Build a weekly cadence, visits, classes, faith, volunteering, creative work, that keeps you engaged. Purpose stabilizes mood, strengthens health, and wards off isolation.

“Independent” with smart support:

Needing targeted help (a ride, paperwork, a specialist visit) doesn’t erase independence. The right supports extend independence. Think in tasks, not labels. What can I do solo? What drains me? What requires expertise? Outsource the friction so you can keep doing the things that matter.

Comfort and dignity at the end:

Clarity about end-of-life wishes protects dignity. When advocates know the living will and physicians are aligned, care shifts from default interventions to comfort, presence, and small mercies. A clean face, ice chips, and favorite music can mean everything.

Legacy is every day, not just estate plans:

Legacy lives in stories, relationships, and how you treat people. Beverly’s generosity, her love of conversation, her creativity, and even her beloved pet were part of the life she chose to leave behind. Catalog your stories and label photos. Write a page a week. Decide who and what you want to support. Make it simple for others to honor your wishes.

Takeaways to act on now:

  1. Map your Finances–Health–Legal triangle and fill the gaps.
  2. Name and brief your advocate(s); give them access to documents.
  3. Right-size your care plan and assume facilities don’t cover everything.
  4. Install fraud guardrails: documentation, second opinions, slow down big moves.
  5. Schedule purpose: weekly social, creative, and spiritual anchors.
  6. Refresh your proxies and beneficiaries after any major life change.

Beverly’s message is clear. Plan early, choose your circle, and keep choosing what makes your life feel like you.

September 26, 2025 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Three Essentials for Planning Your Future are Finances, Health, and Legal Protection

At Aging Icon, we believe that thriving as you age isn’t about reacting to challenges, it’s about preparing for them. That preparation begins with three essential areas that shape your future quality of life:

1. Finances
The first step is getting clear on what you have. Many people avoid looking closely at their finances, but knowing your real financial picture gives you the foundation for every other decision. It’s not just about what’s in the bank, it’s about understanding your resources, obligations, and options.

2. Health
Take an honest look at your health. Do you have medical conditions now? What’s in your family history that could affect your future? By considering the possibilities and looking down the road, you can anticipate the kind of care you may need, including the possibility of not being able to remain at home. Do you know what you would do then?

3. Legal Protection
Once you know where you stand financially and medically, it’s time to visit your attorney. This is where everything is put into writing, clearly and legally. Wills, trusts, power of attorney, and healthcare directives ensure that your wishes are honored and that your loved ones are protected.

These three steps, finances, health, and legal planning, work together to create peace of mind. I help individuals and families navigate these realities with confidence, dignity, and foresight. Planning ahead means you can focus on living your life fully, with purpose and security.

September 22, 2025 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Meet Ed, The First True Example of an Aging Icon

When the events of September 11, 2001, destroyed both the World Trade Center and my career foundation, I left New York and resettled in Florida. Volunteering with a community group called We Care, I saw that seniors needed more than advice on insurance or prescriptions, they needed someone to advocate for their lives beyond medical charts. 

To strengthen this work, I also took training through Medicare as a volunteer, which allowed me to give classes and presentations on all aspects of aging, from healthcare and insurance to quality-of-life resources. 

This combination of service and education planted the seed for what would become Aging Icons.

My first client, Ed, a former mayor recovering from a stroke, was misdiagnosed, dismissed, and told to settle for decline. In reality, his challenge was Aphasia, a condition that slowed his ability to process language. With the right support, Ed rediscovered purpose: attending services, reading again with adaptive tools, and speaking at community events. 

He became the first true example of an Aging Icon.

From Ed’s journey, the philosophy emerged:

  • Diagnosis is not destiny. Look beyond labels.
  • Purpose fuels health. Seniors thrive when they feel relevant.
  • Care must be holistic. Address emotional, social, and spiritual needs, not just medical ones.

This chapter makes clear that aging is not about sitting on the sidelines. It’s about continuing to contribute and live fully. Out of loss came a new purpose, ensuring every older adult has the chance to remain an active, joyful participant in their own life.

September 21, 2025 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Herman’s Story: Why Seniors Need Advocates

When I first began volunteering in Florida as a SHINE Representative and helping older adults understand Medicare and health insurance, I met countless people navigating the maze of aging alone. One story in particular still stays with me: Herman’s.

A Sister’s Worry

Herman’s sister, Trudy, came regularly to my Medicare classes. Active and engaged, she was deeply concerned about her brother, who had stopped leaving his apartment. He wasn’t sick in the traditional sense, but he had given up on daily life.

When I finally met Herman, it became clear that what he lacked wasn’t the ability to get up, it was the motivation. His words were simple: “If I had someplace to go, I would get up.”

A System That Missed the Signs

Soon after, Herman ended up in the hospital following a fall. What should have been a chance to recover turned into a nightmare. Nurses misinterpreted his dry humor as confusion, missed the fact that he had a broken leg, and restrained him unnecessarily.

This is where advocacy becomes essential. Without someone to explain his personality, history, and “baseline,” Herman was seen as another disoriented patient rather than the vibrant man he truly was.

Seeing the Whole Person

As I learned more about Herman, I discovered a full life. He was a German immigrant who served in the U.S. Army, rose to leadership in his union, and lived with energy and joy. Knowing this helped me push for care that matched who he really was, not just what was convenient for the system.

It also reminded me how easily older adults can be taken advantage of, whether through medical neglect or even predatory sales practices, like the cousin who unknowingly signed up for multiple phone contracts. Advocacy is often about fighting battles on multiple fronts.

Finding Dignity at the End

Ultimately, Herman could not return to his apartment. But because of his military service, he qualified for a nearby Veterans’ nursing home. It was the right place,  compassionate, social, and respectful. There, he built friendships and received extraordinary hospice care when his health declined. He passed peacefully, honored for his service, and surrounded by dignity.

The Lessons Herman Leaves Behind

Herman’s story is not just about one man. It reveals what so many older adults face:

  • Purpose matters. Often, seniors don’t lose the will to live—they lose reasons to get out of bed.
  • Systems fail. Without an advocate, oversights and misunderstandings can strip away dignity.
  • The whole person counts. Understanding someone’s history and baseline changes how we interpret their needs.
  • Advocacy protects. From healthcare to financial exploitation, seniors need someone to stand beside them.

Herman’s journey affirmed why Aging Icons exists. Advocacy ensures that people are seen, heard, and respected in every stage of aging. Seniors are more than patients or statistics, they are veterans, immigrants, parents, workers, dreamers.

And like Herman, they deserve to age with dignity, community, and compassion.

September 8, 2025 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Aging Differently and Making Peace with Time

For so many of us, the word aging has been wrapped in fear, loss, and limitation. We brace ourselves for decline instead of anticipating possibility. But what if we could change that? What if aging became something to walk toward with purpose, passion, and even joy?

That’s the very heart of bestselling author and DailyOM top-selling course creator Cynthia Kane’s program, Make Aging Your Friend Instead of Your Enemy (https://www.dailyom.com/courses/aging-differently-feel-lighter-freer-and-more-confident/

In this course, Cynthia guides people to radically reshape how they feel, think, and talk about aging. The goal is to release fear, dismantle negative judgment, and discover a lighter, freer, healthier relationship with ourself as we grow older.

It’s a roadmap to aging not with dread, but with harmony, gratitude, and a sense of vitality that others can see and feel.

Where Does Aging Icon Come In

I love how Cynthia lays the foundation for resetting our relationship with aging. At Aging Icon, my work builds on that foundation. I partner with individuals, my “aging icons,” to help them step into this new perspective and live it out day by day.

Accommodations sometimes need to be made. Bodies change, energy fluctuates, and circumstances shift. (That happens throughout our entire life!) But none of that means you stop moving forward. Quite the opposite.

My role is to help people age differently:

  • With purpose, by clarifying what truly matters now and how to live it fully.
  • With passion, by rekindling joy and enthusiasm for daily life.
  • With positivity, by choosing to see opportunities instead of limits.

I’ve seen clients light up when they realize they can still build, create, give, and grow. That refusal to let age define or diminish them is what makes them aging icons.

Aging Is Not the End, It’s a Continuation

Aging is inevitable. But despair, decline, and disengagement don’t have to be. With guides like Cynthia Kane reshaping the way we think about aging, and with Aging Icon offering practical, personal support to live differently, aging becomes less of a battle and more of a beautiful dance.

The goal isn’t to deny time but it’s to make peace with it and keep moving forward joyfully, step by step.

Check out Cynthia Kane’s course https://www.dailyom.com/courses/aging-differently-feel-lighter-freer-and-more-confident/

And if you’re curious about what your own “next chapter” might look like, I’m here to guide you. Reach out and let’s discuss how Aging Icon can help you step into your future with purpose, passion, and positivity and become the icon of your own story.

September 2, 2025 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment