AGING ICON

Holding My Own as A Woman in a Man’s World

For as long as I can remember, I’ve worked alongside men including colleagues, employees, business partners, mentees, and of course, my husband. I’ve never shied away from stepping into spaces where the energy skewed masculine. In fact, I’ve often thrived there.

Maybe it was my deep expertise in my field. Maybe it was an innate sense of confidence. Likely it was a combination of both. But what I know to be true is that I never waited for permission to take up space.

I never let being the “only woman in the room” shake me. I never let anyone else’s assumptions define my value. And I never gave up my independence, personally or professionally, because the moment you do that, you risk disappearing into someone else’s story instead of writing your own.

Even in a happy marriage, independence matters. Especially in a happy marriage. Having a partner doesn’t mean losing your identity. I’ve always believed the healthiest relationships are built when two whole people choose to walk through life side by side, not when one leans so heavily on the other that she forgets how to stand tall on her own.

I’ve had wonderful male mentors and friends throughout my career. I’ve also had other experiences. Like being talked over in meetings. Having my ideas ignored until a man echoed them. And yes, being told to “smile more” except in one ironic twist, I was actually told to smile less by a male attorney I was competing with. Years later, that same attorney came to me for help with his image. Life has a way of circling back, doesn’t it?

I’d be remiss not to acknowledge the sexual undercurrent women often have to manage in professional settings. The subtle (and not-so-subtle) comments. The misinterpreted friendliness. The need to constantly walk the line between being assertive and being “too much.” It’s exhausting, and it’s real. But we manage, with grace, clarity, and an unwavering sense of self.

Here’s what I’ve learned and what I want every woman reading this to know:
We don’t need to harden to survive in a man’s world. We don’t need to mimic masculine traits or minimize our own. What we do need is an unshakeable sense of our own worth. We need clarity about what we bring to the table. And we need the resilience to keep showing up, especially when it’s uncomfortable.

Inner strength isn’t loud or showy. It’s quiet confidence. It’s knowing who you are, what you stand for, and what you’re capable of. It’s also knowing what you won’t tolerate and being willing to draw that line.

That strength? It’s been hard-earned. Built over years, shaped by experience, and inspired by the women I’ve admired who spoke up, stood tall, and never shrank. I’ve learned to listen carefully but speak decisively. To collaborate, but never compromise my vision. To hold my own, without losing my kindness or curiosity.

And I believe deeply that men aren’t the enemy. In fact, many are our allies, our partners in progress, our coworkers in the trenches, our friends, and our family. When we work together with mutual respect, when men listen and learn and women lead without apology, we all benefit. True collaboration looks like inclusion, not dominance. Support, not competition.

Women are still navigating a world that wasn’t designed with us in mind. But we’re redesigning it, every single day.

To the woman reading this and whether you’re just getting started, starting over, or starting fresh later in life, know that you are not alone. We’ve walked this path, and we’re walking it with you.

Stand tall in who you are. Don’t wait for approval. Lead with competence and confidence. And never, ever hand over your independence. It’s your power source.

Respect starts with self-respect. And when you believe in your worth, the world takes notice.

June 16, 2025 Posted by Aging Icon | Uncategorized | business, competence, competition, life, love, mental health, relationships, Senior, support, women, women in power | Leave a comment