When Compassion Meets Advocacy: Pete’s Story

Many people start thinking about getting their affairs in order by calling an attorney. It makes sense because Elder Law and Estate Planning Attorneys know the legal documents that protect your assets and your wishes.

But lawyers can’t (and shouldn’t) do it all. They draft the paperwork, but they don’t walk through your life with you. That’s where a Patient Advocate comes in because they connect the dots between life, health, and planning.

Pete’s Call for Help

Pete’s story began with a cry for help. He called Elder Law Attorney Iris Bikel after realizing that the neighbors who had been “helping” him were actually taking advantage of him. They had convinced him to sell his condo and were pushing to gain Power of Attorney over his finances. Fortunately, Pete’s distant cousin referred him to Iris, who immediately brought me in as his Patient Advocate.

When I first met Pete, he was frail, hungry, and utterly defeated. A retired Avon executive who once designed the company’s training manuals, Pete had lived a full, rich life. But after his career ended and his sister passed away, he became isolated and easy prey for those with selfish intentions.

A Turning Point

My first priority was Pete’s health. I took him to the hospital, where doctors discovered he was dehydrated and depressed. When asked if he had ever thought of harming himself, Pete quietly admitted, “Yes, I look out the window and think I should jump.”

That honest moment changed everything.

With the support of his medical team and my advocacy, Pete agreed to inpatient care. Over the next two months, his spirit began to revive. He made friends, rediscovered his confidence, and began to see that life still held meaning. Together, we explored living options and found an Independent Living community that fit his needs, one that offered support without taking away his independence.

Rediscovering Purpose

Pete thrived in his new environment. He joined the residents’ council, took up Tai Chi, and even learned Tai Kwon Do in his eighties! He rediscovered joy, purpose, and community. He began to share stories of his world travels, his deep love of art and music, and even long-hidden truths about himself that he had carried for a lifetime. It was as if he had finally exhaled after holding his breath for years.

Life’s Full Circle

As time went on, Pete’s health declined and his finances grew tight. We worked together to transition him to a Medicaid-supported facility that still respected his dignity and individuality. Even as his world became smaller, he filled it with beauty carefully decorating his new space with art and personal treasures.

When his vascular condition worsened, he made the brave choice to forgo extreme medical interventions. I remained his advocate and his friend until the end, and when my colleague Jackee Namwila stepped in during my absence, she provided the same level of compassion and care. Pete’s final days were spent with dignity, comfort, and peace.

Lessons from Pete

Pete’s story is a powerful reminder of why Patient Advocacy matters, and what can happen when someone has a steady, compassionate guide through the maze of aging and healthcare.

Here are a few takeaways from Pete’s journey:

1. Legal planning needs life planning. Attorneys handle the documents, but a Patient Advocate helps you gather the information, make the decisions, and stay engaged in the process.
2. Isolation can be dangerous. Even smart, capable people can become vulnerable when they’re alone. Community and oversight can literally save lives.
3. Independence doesn’t end with age. With the right support, older adults can maintain autonomy and joy well into their later years.
4. Advocacy is about relationships. A good advocate never disappears when the checkbook runs out and they remain a source of strength and friendship.
5. A life well-lived deserves dignity until the end. Pete’s story shows that even in the face of decline, choice and respect make all the difference.

Pete’s journey is one I will never forget. It’s why I do what I do, helping people navigate the complex and deeply personal path of aging with grace, empowerment, and humanity.

(From Aging Icon – How You Want to Live: When They Say Nothing Can be Done, That Just Means They Don’t Know What to Do. http://bit.ly/47OKWel

    

October 20, 2025 Posted by Aging Icon | Uncategorized | books, business, Elder Law Attorney, fiction, life, mental health, seniors, short-story, writing | Leave a comment